For me this year has been an incredible year of growth, change and shifting perspectives.
Prior to this I had never really realised just how hard I was on myself and how much pressure I always put on myself. It’s amazing how much emotional junk we hold onto without realizing it.
Our past experiences help to mold us but they do not define us. Nothing in your past has the power to create your future, only you have the power to create the life you want to live and the person that you want to be- always remember that as it’s a really important lesson to learn and it is something that I often remind myself.
As a teen I was incredibly emotional and I had no idea how to manage my emotions, this paired with raging teenage hormones proved to be an interesting mix and a pretty tough time in my life. I really struggled with anxiety and depression and I had no sense of self-worth. Which I can tell you doesn’t mix well with alcohol as I found out on many occasions (think blackouts, emotional hysterical crying, and overreactions to very small issues).
I had a few really painful relationship experiences both with boyfriends and friends, which left me feeling quite vulnerable and I found it incredibly difficult to trust people in my life, due to the fear of being abandoned. This lack of trust caused me to be a very judgemental person and I found myself judging everyone around me (I now know this stemmed from a huge lack of my own self-love which I was projecting onto others and I carried this well into my mid-twenties as I slowly become more and more aware of my internal struggles.)
More often than not my coping strategies with any issue, no matter how small was to call all of my closest friends and my husband and analyse every angle of every situation. Sometime getting so emotional I would cry for hours on end, drenching myself in a huge amount of anxiety and working my way into a hopeless emotional state.
From the outside most would have thought I was really confident and happy- on an external level I had nothing to complain about. Growing up I lived in a safe home with my very loving parents. I started dating my loving husband when I was 19, moved into a cute little home with him and seemed to have everything going for me, but mentally I was a mess.
I always looked outward for happiness expecting that everyone around me could “fix” me but I never thought to look inward and work on my own issues and improve my own outlook on life.
Over the years I lost many friends, many who I thought would be around forever but I guess I depended on them too much and I am so unbelievably thankful for the few who saw through all the emotional junk and stuck around understanding the real me that lay under all the emotional crap. I had one friend tell that she needed a break from me as I was too emotionally draining and sadly that friendship never recovered but it was a huge lesson for me.
I remember a few years ago starting to feel that something needed to change but I wasn’t sure where to start. I had bought several self-help books from Louise Hay and several other amazing authors and started to look into ways that I could improve and turn my mental state around.
I also realised I was very unhappy in my career and the direction that my life seemed to be travelling. Which led me to enrol to study online at the Institute Of Integrative Nutrition in 2012 to become a health coach. After I graduated I felt I wanted to learn more and enrolled to start part time uni studying naturopathy and nutrition, all while I was still working full time.
I also started to improve the way in which I was eating and living. By cleaning up my diet and incorporating more vegetables and fruits, good quality meats and less dairy, gluten, processed and packaged food; I found that my emotions (and hormones) were so much easier to manage. I had so many amazing improvements to my health, however there was still a lot that seemed to be holding me back. Fears, anxieties and stresses that were not helping me in any way, but I wasn’t sure if there was anything else I could do to improve this and started to accept that this was just the way that I was and I was “flawed” but nothing that I could do about it.
“Our past experiences help to mold us but they do not define us. Nothing in your past has the power to create your future, only you have the power to create the life you want to live and the person that you want to be”
By this time I had been following Amy Crawford from the Holistic ingredient for quite some time and Amy was the first person to introduce me to CTC therapy. A therapy which combines several modalities including reiki, hypnotherapy, emotional freedom technique(EFT) and neural linguistic programming(NLP) in a 2 hour session. CTC Therapy is designed to help you release all of your fears and negative emotions and anything that you feel holds you back. I remember thinking every time Amy posted about CTC that surely there must be a catch, it sounded too good to be true.
However in September last year I found out I was pregnant for the first time and I made the jump to contact Amy, my main reason was that I did not want to bring a baby into the world when I was such an emotional mess. I wanted to feel strong and capable so that I could pass those lessons onto my children.
I booked my session with Amy and my session was seriously life-changing, as we moved through the processes I was amazed at how much emotional junk was coming up for me. It was quite overwhelming at times, but through the process it all shifted to a point where I realised that it just did not serve me and I began to let it go. I left the session feeling much lighter and although I did not notice much at first, the changes were very significant. I left the session with a few activities Amy had set me to do over the next 2-3 weeks.
During the weeks that followed this session, I felt more empowered and stronger than I had ever felt. Fast forward a few months and so many changes had taken place. I no-longer depended on my family and friends to help me with my issues and I took responsibility for how I handled my emotions. I also became extremely clear on the direction that I wanted my business to go and I made the decision that I would make it a full time job within the next 12 months (at this stage I was not sure how I would do this but I trusted that I would make it work). I also began meditating daily which helped me significantly. Unfortunately my first pregnancy did not progress past 12 weeks as it turned out to be a molar pregnancy. Even though I was devastated, I feel that I was much more equipped mentally to handle the situation.
Early this year a good friend of mine mentioned that Joanne Antoun the founder and creator of CTC therapy had released a scholarship program to become a qualified CTC practitioner.
I was so excited I could not let this opportunity pass me by, I worked on my scholarship application which included a video component. Once complete I nervously sent it off and a few days later I was elated to find out I had won! I could not believe my luck, by this time I was pregnant for a second time and realised that I would be 7 months pregnant for the training. I knew I would probably be very tired, but I felt I would be able to complete the training and that it would be a beautiful experience to go through during this time of my life.
I had always been interested in the power of the mind and knew that through learning the various modalities hypnotherapy, Reiki, NLP and EFT, I would able to assist my clients with similar issues that I had worked through, once I completed the training.
My training with the inspiring Joanne Antoun allowed me to learn many techniques to assist my clients to drop layers and layers of emotional baggage. The best bit was through learning the processes deeply, I was able to work on even more stuff that I did not realise I had going on. One fear that popped up during my training was a huge fear of giving birth. Through the training I worked on this and now at 35 weeks pregnant I feel so very confident about my birth and I know that all I need is within me.
Many of us don’t realise just how powerful our minds are and it can be the very thing that holds us back or allows us to soar.
If you continue to dwell on past experiences or fears of the future, your mind has the power to keep you in that space. However if you shift your focus to only focus on the positive- your life can literally change track.
CTC is about shifting those energy blocks and allowing you to be the best person you can possibly be.
Now with only a few weeks left until I leave my corporate job to be a first time mumma and to also follow my dream of working for myself fulltime. I can honestly say that without CTC therapy I do not think I would have had the confidence, but I am now ready to fly and make my dreams come true.
I am so incredibly proud and blessed to say that I am now a fully qualified CTC practitioner and I love that I am able to help so many of my clients to release their own negative beliefs and anything that they feel is holding them back, so that they too can live the life that they always dreamt of.